It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I came so hard my ears popped.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
