sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
