Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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