Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
