im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
