mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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