It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
