If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
