I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
