oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
