Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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