They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
