I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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