3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
