yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize