Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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