I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
