so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
