Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
