Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize