Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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