That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
P.S. I can't hear my feet
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
His nipple licking is glorious
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