It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
