I cockslap morals
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize