ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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