bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's the barista slut.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
