you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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