Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
