Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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