I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
