I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
