so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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