you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
