just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
