Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
