none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
