WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
