Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize