id be glad to
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
