I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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