Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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