Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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