We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
