I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
