I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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