My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
