recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
