You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
