Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
