Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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