I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
