Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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