And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize