Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
