now i know why i became what i already was.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
