it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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