Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
this will be a night to untag.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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