Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
