i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
