I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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