what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
