im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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