i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
