So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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