I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
