He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize